21/11/15
Dear Electra,
Hell Week finished a week ago, but somehow I didn't find enough time to write you a letter. I guess I was experiencing post-exam stress as I was desperate to find my results. Have you ever gotten that feeling, Electra? The feeling that you still need to study even though Hell Week was over? I can't stop allowing that trauma to take over me. All I'm glad about now is that Hell Week has perished for 2015. Thank goodness.
Of course, you know I'm not fully satisfied with the peacefulness of the post-exam period. Earlier this week my English teacher asked if anyone would like to participate in a speech competition. The acceptance was optional, but yet I chose to take the risk of revealing my hidden voice to a large audience. My decision frightens half of me, but the independent woman in me wants to expose what's been on my mind since... forever. Most of the participants have done/are completing training in speech and drama and/or have an astounding amount of confidence compared to my silent nature. I can't tell you what my topic will be, but I know it would be enough to astonish at least one person in the room (I've actually told my English teacher and she seemed pretty fascinated).
Wish me good fortune, Electra; I need all of it.
Stay powerful and beautiful as usual,
- M ★
Friday, November 20, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Letters to Electra - For Every Road Trip Action There is a Nauseous Reaction
24/10/15
Dear Electra,
Last Wednesday my family and I travelled to Auckland, which lies hours away from the city I live in. As we were riding in the car, I couldn't focus on where I was or what was happening. I've had spells of dizziness like this before (mentioned in past letters) but it got to the point where I passed out constantly, even if I had medicinal oils rubbed on my forehead or if the car wasn't moving. Nobody in my family pointed out that I had a pale face, although I felt like I did.
I'm currently spending my Saturday at a Filipino basketball festival, sitting in the bleachers and ignoring the constant buzz of cheering audiences. On the way here, despite it being a short distance from the city I live in, I fell into a moderate state of nausea. As I write this, Electra, my handwriting is deteriorating and all I could write are squiggly lines. Let's carry on anyway.
Dear Electra,
Last Wednesday my family and I travelled to Auckland, which lies hours away from the city I live in. As we were riding in the car, I couldn't focus on where I was or what was happening. I've had spells of dizziness like this before (mentioned in past letters) but it got to the point where I passed out constantly, even if I had medicinal oils rubbed on my forehead or if the car wasn't moving. Nobody in my family pointed out that I had a pale face, although I felt like I did.
I'm currently spending my Saturday at a Filipino basketball festival, sitting in the bleachers and ignoring the constant buzz of cheering audiences. On the way here, despite it being a short distance from the city I live in, I fell into a moderate state of nausea. As I write this, Electra, my handwriting is deteriorating and all I could write are squiggly lines. Let's carry on anyway.
Somehow these two events are connected, or maybe I'm just allergic to road trips. Isn't it a depressing allergy? It means that I can't fulfill my wanderlust without dropping my blood pressure and failing to take in a beautiful view. Hopefully my body can get back into its original state soon.
Stay powerful and beautiful as usual.
- M ★
Stay powerful and beautiful as usual.
- M ★
Friday, October 16, 2015
Letters to Electra - Let's Talk About Sexism
14/10/15
Dear Electra,
I'm back after a hiatus with Primavera! I've also completed week 1 of my fourth school term this year, which means that exams and assessments are crawling closer behind me. This also means that I have to hibernate from writing letters to you again soon.
As I remain on the same topic about school, there's been more sexism now than I've experienced earlier this year. It's 2015, people! I thought we could wrap our thoughts around this predicament by now.
Some adults may say that boys 'tease' girls to flirt and to get their attention, but it's actually worse. Who flirts by mistreating others? Why can't boys treat girls like human beings and not like wild animals? Do boys struggle to see the light in the opposite gender?
This brings me to another sub-topic: when girls achieve their best or have big goals, why do boys have the reflex of focusing on our bodies? I heard an example of this very recently when some friends of mine won a competition:
"Woah, she looks so hot."
"Yeah. I'd put her in my bed in a millisecond."
Well, that's not what they said word for word, but it's enough for you to comprehend my message.
When can boys accept the fact that girls can do whatever they can do?
My reason for writing this is not to shame some males for their libertine actions, but to remind them that females and other types of genders are as important as they are. When you see an example of sexism online, in real life or anywhere else, please try to combat it. This also applies to racism, any type of bullying and any other type of discrimination in this world.
Stay powerful and beautiful as usual,
- M ★
Dear Electra,
I'm back after a hiatus with Primavera! I've also completed week 1 of my fourth school term this year, which means that exams and assessments are crawling closer behind me. This also means that I have to hibernate from writing letters to you again soon.
As I remain on the same topic about school, there's been more sexism now than I've experienced earlier this year. It's 2015, people! I thought we could wrap our thoughts around this predicament by now.
Some adults may say that boys 'tease' girls to flirt and to get their attention, but it's actually worse. Who flirts by mistreating others? Why can't boys treat girls like human beings and not like wild animals? Do boys struggle to see the light in the opposite gender?
This brings me to another sub-topic: when girls achieve their best or have big goals, why do boys have the reflex of focusing on our bodies? I heard an example of this very recently when some friends of mine won a competition:
"Woah, she looks so hot."
"Yeah. I'd put her in my bed in a millisecond."
Well, that's not what they said word for word, but it's enough for you to comprehend my message.
When can boys accept the fact that girls can do whatever they can do?
My reason for writing this is not to shame some males for their libertine actions, but to remind them that females and other types of genders are as important as they are. When you see an example of sexism online, in real life or anywhere else, please try to combat it. This also applies to racism, any type of bullying and any other type of discrimination in this world.
Stay powerful and beautiful as usual,
- M ★
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Letters to Primavera ~ The Thirtieth (And Final!) One
30/09/15
Dear Primavera,
Dear Primavera,
Goodbye.
Well, you're going to be here for a few more months, but I am saying farewell as I stop writing letters to you.
You have been a source of relief and warmth for me during this stressful month. You've celebrated four birthdays, explored the deeper qualities of my personality and had to put up with my boredom all in thirty days. You've accompanied me when I wanted to talk to someone about my panic attacks and personal thoughts when everybody was occupied, or when I was too afraid to talk to another human being.
I am much obliged to you for following me on my journey throughout (almost) every day of September 2015.
Thanks.
Until next September (hopefully!),
Marian.
P.S.: Stay powerful and beautiful as usual.
Letters to Primavera ~ The Twenty-Nineth One
29/09/15
Dear Primavera,
Last night the group and I had our second sleepover in the month of September. Well, for Sera it was her first since she couldn't attend the previous one.
This sleepover was to celebrate the fourteenth birthday of Serafina, who was actually born on the twenty-sixth this month. Everyone, as expected, arrived perfectly on time... and then there were Anjeline and me, who arrived one hour later. Although this ticked me off a little, I wouldn't change what happened afterwards.
During the afternoon, everyone separated into smaller gatherings in the living room. At one corner sat Anjeline with the birthday girl as they typed busily on their phones. Our friend, Melody, slumped on one of the couches and tapped away on her phone. On the arm of the opposite couch perched Elaine, who filled out a word document on her laptop. And then the leftovers, Charisma, Gwen and me, engrossed ourselves with the Backstreet Boys. Yes, Primavera. I don't like modern trends, but the '90s and previous generations fascinate me.
When all of us grew apathetic of doing nothing, we all raided the playground across the road. A special feature of the playground was a large swing that could fit about five people at once, and I couldn't help but lie down on it and get my friends to become my humble servants and push me. Eventually, I allowed my friends to hop on and giggled until we ran out of breath. Running around the street and acting like five-year-olds was definitely a better alternative to depriving ourselves of social interaction.
After a scrumptious dinner cooked by Sera's mum, we gathered in the lounge and watched 'The Notebook', avoiding the indecent scenes of course - a lovely ending to a memorable day in our friendship.
Yours sincerely,
One who has lovely friends.
Dear Primavera,
Last night the group and I had our second sleepover in the month of September. Well, for Sera it was her first since she couldn't attend the previous one.
This sleepover was to celebrate the fourteenth birthday of Serafina, who was actually born on the twenty-sixth this month. Everyone, as expected, arrived perfectly on time... and then there were Anjeline and me, who arrived one hour later. Although this ticked me off a little, I wouldn't change what happened afterwards.
During the afternoon, everyone separated into smaller gatherings in the living room. At one corner sat Anjeline with the birthday girl as they typed busily on their phones. Our friend, Melody, slumped on one of the couches and tapped away on her phone. On the arm of the opposite couch perched Elaine, who filled out a word document on her laptop. And then the leftovers, Charisma, Gwen and me, engrossed ourselves with the Backstreet Boys. Yes, Primavera. I don't like modern trends, but the '90s and previous generations fascinate me.
When all of us grew apathetic of doing nothing, we all raided the playground across the road. A special feature of the playground was a large swing that could fit about five people at once, and I couldn't help but lie down on it and get my friends to become my humble servants and push me. Eventually, I allowed my friends to hop on and giggled until we ran out of breath. Running around the street and acting like five-year-olds was definitely a better alternative to depriving ourselves of social interaction.
After a scrumptious dinner cooked by Sera's mum, we gathered in the lounge and watched 'The Notebook', avoiding the indecent scenes of course - a lovely ending to a memorable day in our friendship.
Yours sincerely,
One who has lovely friends.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Letters to Primavera ~ The Twenty-Eighth One
28/09/15
Dear Primavera,
You know how people identify as either introvert or extrovert? Unlike them, I fit perfectly in the middle.
At first, I thought I was an introvert since I am extremely shy and unable to talk to people without bluffing. I'd rather go on Tumblr in the comfort of my dark room than attend lavish balls. I relish silence more than listening to people's delightful conversations.
But then, there's another side to my persona. I live my life with the fear of being forgotten by my loved ones. When I'm not surrounded by a person or a group of people, I can't have someone to listen to my incessant rants and give me helpful advice. When I'm alone I feel vulnerable at times.
If I'm alone, then I become angry. If I'm surrounded by people, then I become angry as well. I understand myself.
Yours sincerely,
An intro-extro-vert.
Dear Primavera,
You know how people identify as either introvert or extrovert? Unlike them, I fit perfectly in the middle.
At first, I thought I was an introvert since I am extremely shy and unable to talk to people without bluffing. I'd rather go on Tumblr in the comfort of my dark room than attend lavish balls. I relish silence more than listening to people's delightful conversations.
But then, there's another side to my persona. I live my life with the fear of being forgotten by my loved ones. When I'm not surrounded by a person or a group of people, I can't have someone to listen to my incessant rants and give me helpful advice. When I'm alone I feel vulnerable at times.
If I'm alone, then I become angry. If I'm surrounded by people, then I become angry as well. I understand myself.
Yours sincerely,
An intro-extro-vert.
Letters to Primavera ~ The Twenty-Seventh One
27/09/15
Dear Primavera,
It has only been two days since the end of Term 3 and I am abhorrently bored. Fatigued out of my mind.
When I am not encouraged to stress about something that tiny spark of ambition disappears from my mind.
I can't seem to grab the tiniest pinch of my creativity from my mind. I'm not even sure if I could write anything more apart from the fact that I'm unoccupied and lonesome.
Yours sincerely,
All the thoughts Marian can generate for now.
Dear Primavera,
It has only been two days since the end of Term 3 and I am abhorrently bored. Fatigued out of my mind.
When I am not encouraged to stress about something that tiny spark of ambition disappears from my mind.
I can't seem to grab the tiniest pinch of my creativity from my mind. I'm not even sure if I could write anything more apart from the fact that I'm unoccupied and lonesome.
Yours sincerely,
All the thoughts Marian can generate for now.
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